I'm obsessed with my Image

I’m too obsessed with my image

I’m sure some of you understand me when I say that. Most of the time I have trained myself to let things go. To stop worrying about what people’s perspective is of you. You know YOU and so do the people that love you. It’s harder than it sounds. I know all these people have different versions of me in their head and I want so bad to make sure they have the RIGHT one. It’s a dangerous thing to stress over. Everyone does it though, so I can’t feel too bad.

See, everyone is the bad guy in someone’s story, same with me. I am the bad guy in so many stories that it is actually laughable. But, there is ONE that I really am the bad guy in. The ONE time I hurt someone, genuinely hurt someone. I hurt someone who really did care about me over people who never did. That was a long time ago and I was a different person. Even though life has moved on, I catch myself still mad over it. Mad at myself. I think one of the hardest things to do in life, is forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself for the shit you let yourself go through. The people you let yourself be around and then them making you into this person you weren’t. At the end of the day I can really only blame myself annnnnnnd that sucks. It really is a punch in the face, like wait, WHAT? I was the cause to my own misery???? I mean, I was. I was just way too stupid to realize it. Like I said though, that was a different version of me.

I’m still human and I will always make mistakes. I have to always remember that those mistakes do not define who I am. People’s perspectives do not define who I am. It is something I work on every day and if anyone else relates, you’re not alone.